“To say that it took a while to understand the beauty of just letting go is the understatement of the century, it has taken my entire life, and I’m only half way there” …
It is all very well deciding to forgive others, and wanting to start a journey of self-discovery and renewal along the way, but what if You are the person standing in Your own way. You are only bound by the restrictions You place on Yourself, and who You are depends on what You think of Yourself. Self-healing actually has very little to do with others, and everything to do with Your own ability to let go of the things that hurt You. I believe that this includes the impression You have of Yourself, the way You feel about You, Your past, Your present and Your future. We need to forgive ourselves and everyone else for not being perfect, we were created human, and the reality is, no matter how hard we try, we will always exhibit human flaws, we will never be perfect.
We need to strive for progress, not perfection, or we will continue to disappoint ourselves on a daily basis. We have all done things we are not proud of, and the fundamental basis of life itself, is to be free to make choices, make mistakes, to live life. The one thing standing in our way of moving on from those mistakes, and growing from them, is the guilt we allow to creep in, and take over our entire being, our thoughts, our feelings, and our hearts. We allow guilt to steal our freedom to be, we allow it to consume us to the point of self-loathing, condemnation and inevitably self-destruction. So You’re not perfect … Newsflash … Neither is anyone else.
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future”. – Paul Boese
Today forget Your past, Forgive Yourself and begin again … Freedom isn’t worth having if it is conditional, if it doesn’t include the freedom to make mistakes, to be human, then it is not freedom at all. What kind of life would we be living if we had to be perfect, if we placed ourselves on a pedestal even we couldn’t reach. You have not only the ability, but the right to forgive Yourself any time You want, and it is entirely up to You to make that decision. The thing is … if You don’t forgive Yourself, then You will have to live with the consequences of the guilt instead.
Life is difficult enough living with the accusations, expectations and opinions of others. I have often wondered why we are in such a hurry to beat ourselves up, when there is a queue of people waiting to do that already. If we do not deal with our guilt, then we will have to live with a life full of paranoia, fear, and regret. We will continually relive the mistake, which in turn, will force us to go through all the feelings related to that mistake, and make us distance ourselves from the people associated to that mistake too. We will withdraw into ourselves and not be able to live with who we are, or what we have done. Facing the person in the mirror will become increasingly difficult, and eventually, You won’t even recognise Yourself.
“No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.” – Umar lbn al-khattab
Saying sorry doesn’t mean there isn’t guilt and forgiving doesn’t mean the pain is gone, but if You can’t apologise, You can’t move on from the past, and if You can’t forgive Yourself, then the pain will always be there. If You want to be forgiven for the wrongs You have done in life, then You have to forgive, and if You really want to forgive others, sometimes You have to forgive Yourself first. Once You have reached the point of forgiving Yourself, it will immediately release You from the guilt that You carry. You can then start making peace with Your past, with Your flaws.
Guilt is such a heavy burden, and all it does is fuel fear and doubt. If You are unable to make peace with Yourself, then You will never be the person You are meant to be. Once You have accepted Your flaws, You past, Your mistakes … No one will ever be able to use them against You. The next step is healing, You will be able to heal from the inside out, and it will show in everything You say and do, that You have reached a level of acceptance, that You accept You for who and what You are Today. Don’t forget though, to give credit to the mistakes of the past, because they have helped shape You, and have taught You the most valuable life lessons.
I don’t regret my life, my life experiences, good and bad, have made me who I am Today, and I happen to like who I am.
“Freedom is from within, so make a choice Today … Either free Yourself from the burden of guilt by giving Yourself the gift of forgiveness, or … Destroy any chance of future happiness You may have by letting the burden of guilt crush every part of You.”
Give guilt the kick up the butt it deserves and cut it out for good. Facing the mistake takes courage, overcoming the mistake takes strength, surviving the mistake takes love. Learn to love Yourself, accept the truth of You, because to be true, takes the courage to be Yourself. My wish for You, is for You to see Yourself the way others see You, because You are truly beautiful and You deserve to be free and comfortable in Your own skin.
Each time You attack Yourself because of Your guilt, thinking that You are such a bad person, or don’t deserve the people or things that You have in Your life … You are adding more charges to the list of faults You already have. You may not be able to take back the mistake, and make the situation any better, but You can’t change the fact that it happened either. You can choose to be a free through the gift of forgiveness to Yourself, or You can continue to be guilty as charged.
You have so much to offer this world, and the best part of that is the strength You have gained from the past, and the knowledge You have to help in the present, and to live a peaceful and free future. Love Yourself, accept Yourself, forgive Yourself and be good to Yourself … Because without You, the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things. Recognise Your mistake in the past, look at why it happened and keep the wisdom, let the mistake go and look forward to a new future. Today, let go of guilt, release Yourself from its power over You.
“One of the simplest ways to stay happy, is to let go of all the things that make You sad.” …
- Guilty. (carolynhughesthehurthealer.wordpress.com)
- Learn to Forgive Yourself Even When You’ve Hurt Someone Else (tinybuddha.com)