“Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild Yourself the way You wish You had been all along.” – Rae Smith
I place way too much value on the thoughts others have of me, and I end up thinking way too little of myself. On Sunday, after a very wasted Day of feeling exceptionally sorry for myself, I uploaded a post onto my blog, which I later deleted … The post came across as very “woe is me” and I couldn’t actually stand to read it myself, never mind leave it out there for everyone else to see. I had taken a few comments very personally, I was offended, and I guess it was just a week of stress, and built up frustration that eventually exploded into the pity party I found myself attending. I may not like the views that others express about me, but I also need to learn that they are entitled to their opinions, it doesn’t mean I have to accept them, and I am not responsible for changing them. They alone are responsible for the way they view others, and life in general. With a little help, I managed to “pull myself towards myself” and get over it. But what I realised is this …
“How You view Yourself, is how You will view Your world – Proverb.”
We do not see things as they are, we see things as WE are. Don’t let the views of others restrict your vision to see the beauty within You, the beauty of who You really are, or the ability to BE individually YOU! To others, we are what they allow themselves to see in us, and to ourselves, we are what we allow ourselves to be. They say that if You look hard enough for something, You will find it, and I suppose it just depends on what it is You are looking for. What do we see when we look at someone else, their imperfections, or the good in them? None of us like being disliked, or criticised, but the truth is, we will never be liked by everyone, and we will never be accepted by everyone either. We spend so much time trying to change the way people see us, to win approval that is not necessary, that we lose sight of ourselves in the process.
“I would much rather You see me for who I am, for what I carry in my heart, and for what I show in my life, not for what You perceive or assume me to be.”
I guess what we forget, is that the only opinion that truly matters, is the one we have of ourselves. If You believe in Yourself, if You are true to You, and You like what You see in the mirror (even though a few improvements may be neededJ), then what difference does it make what someone else may think? There is nothing more attractive than confidence, once You see Your own beauty, so will everyone else. I can’t expect to earn respect from others, if I have none for myself, I can’t expect to receive love from others, if I cannot love myself, so if I continue to take the comments and views of others too personally, then I can’t claim to have self-respect, or love who I am as a person.
“Offense is never given, it’s only ever taken.”
People are not going to change because of You, they change when they want to, and they go in the direction that they choose for themselves. The only thing You can do, is to live Your life true to You, and if You don’t want people to easily believe the worst in You, You need to stop worrying so much about what they think, and spend that time focusing on living Your life happily, and staying true to You, Your beliefs, and the journey You find yourself on. Let Your life be a testimony to the person You are, after all, actions definitely speak louder. People will believe what they want, regardless of how You feel, or what the truth is. Yes it hurts, but it hurts more when You try so hard to change that perception, and focus on things that are not going to add value or change Your life for the better.
We are all born with an inherent and fundamental need to be loved, and we all enjoy being liked and accepted, but if You can’t change a person, then all You can do is work on changing Your response to the way that person treats You. I would much rather attempt a positive response, than the emotional and dramatic reactions I have been inclined to adopt in the past. I am responsible for who and what I am, not for what You understand Me to be” … I hope that I can be solely responsible for my actions, and responses, and not for how someone else feels about me, or how they feel about life in general. I think I would prefer to leave their thoughts and feelings as their responsibility. I would rather look at the world and the people in it, as though I am seeing it for the very first time, with clear vision, through eyes of love, through the eyes of a child, with no preconceived ideas, assumptions and judgements, I would prefer to look at things the way I would like to be viewed.
“Today I choose to be free, Today I choose to be me, today, well … I’ll just BE” …
Often, it’s the deepest pain, which empowers You to grow into Your highest self. You are responsible for the lessons You learn, You are responsible for the way You view Yourself, so You can adopt the views of others, or You can define who You are with You own view. See Yourself with love, with hope, remembering that You are indeed a work in progress, and You are continually growing and becoming more and more of who You are meant to be. Focus on building Yourself up instead of breaking Yourself down.
“Remember that You may not be perfect, but YOU are ENOUGH!”
Affirm Your self-belief each Day, Remind Yourself that respect starts with You. See Yourself as You are, for the person you were created to be, because You were born to make a difference. Your pain of Today will be the inspiration behind Tomorrow and whatever Tomorrow may bring … You will be there. You deserve to be loved, You are Beautiful even if You can’t see it … Don’t give up on You! The scars may be there, but they are evidence of wounds that have healed and made You a stronger person, better and not bitter. Find the strength within to lift Your vision, lift Your spirit and believe in You.
- 12 Things You Should Be Able to Say About Yourself (believinggirl.com)
- http://carolynhughesthehurthealer.wordpress.com/2012/10/16/happily-ever-after/ (The Hurt Healer)
- http://suelevy.co.za/2012/10/ttotd-you-are-enough-2/ (Just Pursue It)
- Life Can Only Get Better: This I Believe (yd-p.com)