“What we fear comes to pass more speedily than what we hope.” – Publilius Syrus – Moral Sayings
I don’t know about You, but I’ve been told a few times “be careful of what You fear or it will come to pass”. But I have to wonder … If you think back to all the times you believed You had something to fear, how many of them have actually come to pass? How much time have You spent avoiding Your fears, instead of overcoming them and building Your confidence? Can You honestly say that it was “that bad”, perhaps even “worse than You expected”, or can You say that it was liberating, that dealing with the fear has actually set You free. When I have been really scared, literally frozen by fear, I remember my mouth getting dry, my heart missing a beat and then pounding so hard I can physically hear it, my hands getting clammy, my knees feeling weak as if I was simply unable to stand, each and every single hair standing up, and a tingling sensation rushing through my whole body (that I can only put down to adrenaline). Fortunately, I haven’t had that sensation too many times and most of the things I have worried about, or feared, have never come to pass.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” – FDR – First Inaugural Address
Fear is varied and is best described as one of two things, legitimate fear or unfounded fear. If You place things in perspective, in Today’s world we over analyse, assume, accept generalisations, label everything and essentially our fear is based on “the norm” or “the expected outcome”, rather than on justified reasons or actual evidence. Fear is a vital response to physical or emotional danger and it is our instinct that “kicks in” to warn us of possible danger or physical threats. If we didn’t experience it and know what fear feels like, then we wouldn’t be able to protect ourselves from legitimate threats to either ourselves or our loved ones. More often than not, the things we fear are not legitimate, and they are far from “life or death” scenarios. Yet we continue holding back, we believe in unfounded fears that actually prevent us from “living the life we were meant to live”.
“He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life”. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes, forcing ourselves to deal with the things that scare us is the only way we are able to move past those fears. Confidence is built over time, from accomplishments, from experience, from familiarity, and the only way we will gain confidence to face our fears, is to confront them head on and conquer them! If You think about Your fears constantly, and if You always prepare for the “what if’s, and worst case” scenarios, You are feeding Your fears, and giving fear a stronghold in Your life. You are placing focus and energy into an area of Your life that will restrain You, it prevent You from moving forward and prevent You from growing.
Your mind focuses on the very things You are trying so hard to avoid, and if you keep expressing your fear, You are inevitably in the process of manifesting Your fears. That energy and focus is better placed in areas of You life that will develop You, inspire You, and place in motion the events, ideas, and actions that need to happen to make Your dreams a reality for You.
I have realized that the only thing I have any control over, is my reactions, and the rest of life is out of my hands. What will be, will be, and I would much rather have faith in God’s ability instead of my ability (or lack thereof), I am nowhere near as capable! I want to strengthen my faith rather than fuel my fears. Every emotion we feel, good or bad, is simply that … an emotion and it is an emotion that we are able to control. Fear itself can’t harm you unless You allow it to. Fear is harmful if You are consumed by fear, and end up letting Your fears define You instead of allowing Your hopes and dreams to define You. If you assess the odds in any situation, the chances are that You have nothing to fear at all. Even if there is a slight possibility of a negative outcome or consequence, the odds are that it would be minimal anyway. In any event, no amount of preparation can amount to prevention. You need to look for potential in every situation, have faith, and see past your fears so that You can reach the next level and beyond. No matter what You say or do, if something is meant to happen, it will. Your fears will not stop anything, Your preparation will not change the outcome, so there is absolutely no point placing so much effort, time and energy into something that will add no value in Your life.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”. – Nelson Mandela
“Hopeful thinking can get you out of your fear zone and into your appreciation zone”. – Martha Beck
The best description I have read for fear is “False Evidence Appearing Real” … Oh how accurate that is! Once we face the fears we have, they are not a daunting as they initially appeared to be. I don’t believe we are born with fear, I believe that we inevitably learn fear, that we inherit it. You can fear many things in life, the possible ending of a relationship, rejection from a parent, the loss of a child, the discrimination You could face on a daily basis for Your culture, religious beliefs, skin color, weight … The list is endless, but so are the possibilities in life!
You can’t stop life, but You can stop living it, or You can make the choice to release Your fears, acknowledge them, confront them, and place them behind You. Live in Hope, and not in Fear. Embrace life, and remember that You only have one shot at making the most of it. I for one, would much rather be pursuing my dreams, some of which are actually my fears, but there is only one way to achieve the best of both. I not only want to live life, but I want to appreciate it for what it is, not fear it for what it appears to be, would be, or could be …
“Everything you want in life is just the other side of fear … Your hopes, Your dreams, Your life. You just need to have faith!”
- When All Fear Ends. . . (celiaelaine.wordpress.com)
- Fear (talktodiana.wordpress.com)
- On Embracing Your Fears (letikvah.wordpress.com)
- Faith Triumphs Over Fear (psychiatristblog.wordpress.com)