“Peace comes with learning to let go and just be present” – Unknown
The weight of the world we carry on our shoulders is only there because we allow it to be. It consists primarily of two things; firstly – the past we can’t let go of, and secondly – the way we view ourselves. Our past does however, goes hand-in-hand with how we view ourselves because it has ultimately shaped us into who we are today. Personally, I think that the more colourful the past, the brighter the future will be. You have more to learn from, more to offer in terms of the advice You can give or experiences You can share. People tend to take You more seriously when they know that You speak from personal experience and not a text book. Just because You have a past, doesn’t mean You should beat Yourself up about it, after all, You are not perfect!
“I like being imperfect, it means less expectations, less disappointments, but more surprises, and more freedom to be unique, to simply just be me.”
Everything we experience, the good, the bad and the ugly, is essential to our growth and each experience is a lesson. Our failure doesn’t lie in the mistakes we make, it lies in our inability to comprehend, admit and accept the lesson. The more mistakes we make, the more we grow, the better the future will be. Yet, we carry the regrets of our past and no matter how heavy the burden, we seem insistent on holding on, we just can’t let go. We analyse our mistakes, we strive for perfection in life, but what exactly are we comparing our lives to? We were created the way we are for a reason, to live, to learn, to become … There is no comparison for that, and there is no instruction booklet either. Besides, how much fun would life really be without our challenges, and without the choices we have. I like having the freedom of choice, even if it means making the wrong choices occasionally. In this world, there is no such thing as perfect, there is only progress, and we will never make progress whilst striving for perfection and not allowing ourselves to make mistakes.
“You were born to make mistakes, not fake perfection.” – Unknown
“Give Your heart a chance to heal, Your mind a chance to rest, and Your soul a chance to be You, move on from the past.”
There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, people we can’t live without but have to let go. We give our past way too much power to dictate our future. We make excuses for certain behaviour and we link everything to an experience from the past, instead of just being accountable for today, who and what we are now. You should not have to justify Your past to anyone, they haven’t lived Your life, and somehow … it is generally those that know the least about us that have the most to say! Yes … I know, I know … I can hear my boyfriend giggling to himself right now saying “I have told You that a million times”! I myself have been vocal about others without knowing their full circumstances, and the truth is, just because it is something that we wouldn’t do, doesn’t make it wrong.
“I don’t regret my life, everything has lead me to this very point, and I am right where I am meant to be.”
The reason we dislike our pasts so much is because we fear rejection. When You disclose information from Your past, it is generally used against You, especially in an argument. If it isn’t used against You, it is more often than not, the reason why You are never welcomed into someone’s life, or the reason they cut You out of it. What we fail to realise is that if we are comfortable with the past, and we have reached acceptance, then no one is able to throw it back at You. It can be placed exactly where it belongs, and that is behind You! people can only make You uncomfortable with the things You can’t accept, not the things that they can’t accept. Like it or not, the past can’t be erased so you may as well “build a bridge”, get on with Today not Yesterday, because the burden just gets heavier and heavier the longer You carry it.
“You are not the mistakes You have made” – Unknown
I used to blame others so easily for the issues I carried into my present from the past, but what I have learnt is that I am the cause of my own suffering. I once had a relationship that was always very vicious with words when it came to arguments and things were said in the heat of the moment. I blamed this person for my lack of confidence, and my view of who I was. I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw, because I felt that this person had drummed it into me, how unattractive, unappealing and unfeminine I was. The reality is, my perception was, and still is, my reality! So what if that is how this person felt, it didn’t make it true, but I held onto it for more than 4 years and let it affect my life and impact it negatively. It was so bad that my paranoia had my boyfriend thinking I had some deformity that I was keeping from him. My view of myself was so distorted that I allowed it to become my reality, I can’t blame anyone for that except myself.
“I am not what I have done, I am what I have overcome.” – Unknown
When You set Yourself free from Your past, You will finally be able to live in the present. I can’t deny that I am much happier now than I have ever been, but that has more to do with me learning to accept who I am Today, as well as the past that has brought me here. The past isn’t ever going to go away, but You can get to a point where You can face the past every day knowing that it has been accepted, it is a part of You, it really is ok … and you know what … You don’t live there anymore! Once You have made peace with Your past, then You will make peace with who You are. Let Your past make You better, not bitter. If You find that You don’t like what You see, then make the changes You need to make, this journey is yours and You should enjoy every single step!
“Don’t place Your mistakes on Your head, their weight may crush You. Instead, place them under Your feet and use them as a platform to view your horizons.” – Unknown
So … Here’s to new horizons, here’s to YOU! I wish You the freedom You deserve to live Your life the way You’ve always dreamed, and may You become all that You are destined to be … JUST BE!
- 10 Life Lessons People Learn Too Late – Hughes it or Lose it? (frazierhughes.com)
- What’s Behind Us Is Ahead (desibjornsvioletambitions.wordpress.com)
- Love, forgiveness, choice and freedom (everydayleader.wordpress.com)
- Everyday’s a Second Chance (stepintothecruz.wordpress.com)
- What if…..? (carolynhughesthehurthealer.wordpress.com)